Happiness, and Other Things on My To Do List

Happy. I have so much to say about this, but I will start here, because I just have to get this out today...Happiness is not true happiness if you are only happy when you are being distracted, or things are going perfect.

No.

Happiness is finding joy despite the vast level of irritating and upsetting things around you. Happiness is DECIDING you are going to be happy, even if your day is rotten, or someone you know is on your nerves.

It means spending your day focusing on the positive, rather than finding the error or fault in every situation. If you are looking for the rotten in everything, rotten is what you will find. And if you always find rotten, miserable is what you will be. Now just as much as you can find the rotten in life, you can also find the good. If you look for good, what do you think you will find?

Are you one of those people that becomes irritated by REALLY HAPPY people? If so, this is for you. All those people you see out there that you might think are "disgustingly happy" are really just doing one simple thing: They are deciding that they don't have time for being miserable and sad. And if those disgustingly happy people bother you, it will ease you to spend less time looking at their behavior, and turn inward to see why it bothers you. This might feel stark, but from my experience, when I meet people becoming irritated with really happy, expressive people, the problem usually lies in the person who is irritated.

Now, I am not trying to dole out a big dose of Pollyanna. I know life isn't a walk in the park. We all have disappointment and bad things do happen. We WILL be sad at times, really mad. Totally depressed at others. But it's not all bad, and feeling that way is okay, when the situation permits, as long as it's not a pattern. If it ends up becoming a pattern, it's time to take a step back and examine your thinking, to start.

When you are feeling rotten, the first thing you should tell yourself is that life may be tough right now, but life is not bad. In fact, it's more than not all bad. It's pretty awesome most of the time. And if you have a really bad situation, try to find the good. Try to see the lesson, if little else. Maybe not when you are in it, but when it's over, I guess for no better analogy, treat the situation like compost: Rotten makes good. Rotten vegetables turn around and make good soil - and very little urges me grow more than a tough situation. Same thing, I guess...Simplistic, but then, I am striving for more simple in my life too, along with happy.

On the whole, I strive to choose happy, but then those days come up when you just aren't. My action plan is to take a step back, and calm down. Then be grateful. But if those things don't work, and I find myself dragging myself down, I call on my husband. He always says one thing to me. "When you feel bad, it's easy to see that everything is bad, but in reality it's just how you are choosing to look at it." Then lots of hugs. That works too...Because we are all people who need other people, and if I cannot fix something myself, I seek to others to offer insight. I draw on a few select family and friends to lift me up. It's what we humans do, and it's really easy to forget that we cannot handle everything on our own. We all need each other...

So really, turn the bad thought into a good one. Find the good. Even if you despite the situation today, find one good, positive thought.

Then find another. And another.

If you have to, post them on your wall. On your fridge. In your car. I put mine on my hand. I write them right on there. I also have a tiny little notebook that I keep with me. I write down my coincidences and good things...it helps.