Big Rocks, Little Rocks

It was just a rotten morning today. Seriously. Rotten. I mean, everything I touched just fell apart or set out to give me a splitting headache!

I dropped things, items I was printing were not printing right, when I tried to concentrate, my son needed me...crackers. Then water. Then to attend his party with Lightning McQueen and the entire train crew from Chuggington.

Then the printer spat out misaligned envelopes. The phone rang. Again. My tea tasted bad. I couldn't find my son's shoes. My son was in a bad mood too...

Sitting on the stair, head in hands, it was all I could do to not scream! Then Jack, my son comes over. Three years old. He puts one hand on my hands, the other on my shoulder, and says, "Mommy, you don't have to be frustrated. You don't have to be frustrated." And he wrapped his arms around me and gave me the tightest hug he could.

It's so amazing to me still, how this little person can have such power to melt my anger, put a smile to my face, make my day brighter, more meaningful. Just amazing. And at that moment, I realized that nothing else mattered.

I don't deserve this little treasure I have been blessed with, but nonetheless, he is still mine. What a gift. What an amazing gift...

It is so easy to forget what's important. We blaze through our days, on fire, full of lists and to-do's. Making appointments, rushing around, being important and needed and great contributors to our society, to the human race. We rush about doing the tiny details to hold it all together, so the rest of our days run smoothly. Only most times, they don't. We barely cram in dinner, we tear through our mornings in a huff, barrel through our evenings - first throw our bag down, check email, yank some chicken out of the fridge, put it in a pan, do dinner, clean up, kiss our kids goodnight, stumble down to the TV to turn off our brains, flop into bed, then do it all over. Sometimes we are so keyed up, we take a pill to sleep. Sometimes we drink wine. Sometimes we take stronger things...

We shop shop shop shop shop. We have to. So many things to do, and take care of, and each of those things needs a thing at the store to go with the thing.

We buy premade food, just to make life simple. But it's far from that. Just take a look at the ingredients. Not so simple...

This is just the tip of the iceberg, and I bet you see where I'm going with this. My week was crazy. By Friday, I was wound like a top. I wanted the ride to stop so I could get off, but it doesn't stop. I cannot change the rhythm of the world, but I can change mine. This morning, and this week, I was not doing a very good job of remembering that.

I don't know where I heard this. Maybe it was Wayne Dyer. Maybe someone else. Not sure. But here's the idea. You have a glass jar, and in it first, you fit in all the big things. Family, Friends, Work, Health. Big rocks. Then all the rest are the little things. The little pebbles. Projects, vacations, etc...I really wish I could remember how that analogy goes. It's a great one. If you find it, let me know, but the idea is that if you put the big things in first, then the little pebbles fit in the spaces left over. It all works out...

So really, it's about knowing what my priorities are, sticking to those, then filling in as I can, with all the other little things...Like that. Further, it's about consciously choosing that I will be happy despite things going wrong. These upsets, snags and detours do not determine who I am or how I feel. If I am frustrated, as Jack pointed out, it is simply because I am choosing to be frustrated. Oh that statement was so loaded with meaning...

"You don't have to be frustrated." You don't have to be overscheduling yourself (which was part of the reason all these things were going wrong) and then, if things don't go the way you like, you don't have to take it personally.

The trouble is remembering that this is how it's supposed to go. Being mindful of what's important, and conciously making choices that are always in alignment with those priorities...Somehow God always helps me out with that one. Always there with the good reminders. Often it's Jack, too. Saying something so simple and appropriate for his age, and yet, equally appropriate for mine...

Which leads me to keeping it simple. But that's a topic for another post....

So I hope this is a good reminder to keep the big stuff big, and the little stuff little. It all balances out...